Are you braver than a group of chickens doing the can-can
through a fox’s den? If so, then you may be a stand up comedian.
As well documented by now, I love comedy (well, duh!) but
when I was younger, I always dreamed of being in a sketch group or comedy troupe,
I always thought (& still do) that it’d be a lot more fun, being with a
group of like minded people who you hopefully got on with (no throwing tables/knives
at each other and the like), making people laugh and hopefully, having a bit of
a laugh yourself.
And that still is the dream for me really, but over the past
year or two, in some weird, wonderful and probably mad and neurotic part of my
brain, that wants me to die of humiliation and failure – has been urging me to
explore the world of stand up comedy.
I have always been in awe of the world of the stand up
comedian, to be completely on your own, on stage, with a room full of glazed
over, drunken, evil eyes (no, you wouldn’t be performing in hell, although it’d
probably feel like it) staring at you, daring you to make them laugh, must take
the more courage than a strawberry sprinting through a field of Donkeys (I
know, strange comparison, get used to it).
Then you have the successful comedian, the one that sells
out arena’s and you know that all those lovely people have probably travelled
miles and spent their hard earned money, just to see little ol’ you! I can’t
comprehend how that must feel, I really can’t.
I’ve always wondered ‘how!?’ never why...because I know why,
that compelling urge to make a room full of people laugh is a strong one I’ve
felt my whole life and that’s enough to answer all my ‘whys?’ But I’m not sure
I’ll ever get the hang of the ‘how?’
Maybe it’s that same urge? Either way, I’m bursting to give
it a try (not literally, that’d be messy...and painful...) & I have
actually got a routine or two written. But the sheer terror is enough to put me
off ever trying them out. Sure, I’ve done a few workshops and courses but never
actually done a proper gig.
But, the strange thing is, I know I’d get myself up there
and I know I’d properly deliver my routine quite well, that’s fine...but what I
can’t guarantee is anybody laughing...or me getting off that stage in one
piece.
I suppose it doesn’t really help me being a woman, it’s hard enough to
break into the world of stand up (or comedy in general for that matter) without
being a member of the ‘fairer’ sex. Even in the mad, messed up, anything goes
world of 2012, women in comedy is still something quite rare and even probably
looked down on. (But I have another blog entry for that fine subject, for
another time, although I think it’ll surprise you.)
So, add being a woman to equation and it makes things even
harder, but I can’t help being the sex I was born...and I don’t fancy having
any kind of ‘op’ to change it, unfortunately...even for my beloved world of
comedy...so I’m guess I’m stuck with it.
The thing I’m most worried about is, not if it goes wrong, let’s face it, every comedian is going to have his (or her, don’t want to be called a hypocrite now, do I?) bad, bad gigs, it’s a part of it, I’m realistic on that, but the FIRST gig is probably the one you’d remember the most and for me personally, if it went horribly, disastrously, me ending up in hospital/the police station wrong, then I’d probably never, ever want to grace the stand up word again...or the comedy world in general for that matter. Once bitten, twice shy is a saying that fit’s me all too well, and I couldn’t take that, I couldn’t take my dreams being dashed and my head being crushed (again, not literally, well, that is unless the audience really didn’t like my set...)
& I’ve got to admit, I doubt I’d be a natural stand up –
I’m quite a different person in real life, from when I’m performing, and making
my friends and family laugh is a lot different than making a room full of
drunken strangers laugh, so I’d have to see my stand up side as a different
character to me, still Sarah, but Stand Up Sarah, the braver, more confident,
slightly bonkers version of me!
But on the other hand, I guess you’d learn from it whatever
happened and if it went well, now there’s something for the ego! I wouldn’t be
able to imagine the elation! Talk about
(pipe) dreams coming true!
But such is life, and there’s no guarantee’s in anything in
this world (another thing I’ve learned all too well recently) and I’m quite (painfully)
aware that the only way I’m ever going to find out is to get my bottom out
there as it were and give it my best shot!
Consequently, me and a friend from University are going to a
open mike night in Manchester next month. Now, whether or not I’ll actually be
performing is a different matter, I might go along and see how ‘friendly’ the
place is first and see what the other acts are like, so I’m more prepared, that
would probably be the more sensible thing to do – but unfortunately, and
probably not surprisingly, me and sensible have never really seen eye to eye,
so who knows? I could just get up there
and get it over with! It’d be great if I did...and I guess only time will
tell....
And, I don’t know about you dear reader, but I personally
can’t wait to see the blog entry after that!
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