I Thought I Did Stand Up! I Did! I Did Do Stand Up!

Hey loyal comedy blogger readers...or readER as it's more likely to be...Hi, sit down, would you like a cup of tea? Actually no, I don't really like tea and only usually drink it if I'm on holiday...and since we don't seem to be in a caravan in Blackpool whilst it's pissing it down outside...no tea I'm afraid, but you're welcome either way.

So yes, it seems like a while since I last updated this ere' blog and that's probably because it is, so I can only apologize but I have had a surprisingly busy summer. Surprising in the fact that I didn't end up spending it in my room, in my Pajamas, eating junk food and watching The Simpsons with the cat's...well, not all of it anyway.
I have actually put my summer to good use for a change, been on night's away, day's and night's out, weekends away (not dirty ones, honest...) seen old friends and current ones, made new ones, been on a bit of a 'spiritual journey' and no, it didn't involve drugs...and also performed in a wonderful comedy play in Manchester entitled 'Hobby Horse' (written by David Adair) with my new second family that go by the name of the "Wigan Community Theatre Company".
Among many other random shenanigans and giggles...but before you worry about this turning into some kind of diary or "personal blog", I have news for you, I am detailing my summer not only to find excuses as to why I haven't updated this thing for a while, but to make a perfect lead in to tell you what else I did!
And that, my friends...was...that....I....did...stand...up....c.....omedy.
Now, I'm probably making it sound like a big deal and to you guys, it more than likely won't be (so screw yourselves!) but to me it WAS and IS a big deal.

Now, let me explain Manuel....(Fawlty Towers reference for you there)
I got accepted onto the BBC New Comedy Award Workshop (for which I sent some of this blog to them and they must have liked it or else I wouldn't have been there, so shut up!)
And part (well, most of it) of that involved creating our own stand up routines and having them filmed by the BBC. A major nerves overload induced death awaited me and surely arrived but I can say with all happiness that I didn't crash and burn quite as badly as I thought I would.
I came up with pretty good stories and material in a short space of time and didn't find it as gut wrenchingly horrific as I always thought and most of all, I did get LAUGHS (and not boo's, rotten tomatoes or sharp implements as thought) and quite good laughs for the most part...
But I will say this, it was HARD and it honestly one of the hardest things I've ever done. I felt emotionally and psychically drained by the end of it and my poor brain needed a good few vodkas before it returned to some kind of normality and stopped sobbing it's little heart out...(can a brain have a heart? I'm confused... and I digress...)

And on the filming, my brain did die for a few minutes and I completely forgot what I was saying, what I was going to say, who I was, where I was and why there were people staring at me....but thankfully, it kicked back in and I managed to recover quite well...which didn't bother me only for the fact that it happened on the friggin' FILMING!!! So when the BBC decide to send it to me, I won't be able to watch it back because I don't want to see my brain die and turn into mush live on film.
But it will be nice to watch myself doing something that I never thought I could or would do...
And it made me realize that if I could do that in such a short space of time and handle that kind of pressure then if I 'polished' my material and upped my confidence a bit then doing open mic nights and gigs really wouldn't be so hard, and believe me, that felt so liberating !! There is no longer that 'there's no way I can do it' barrier lurking to put me off, because I have already done it and I know I did it and soon, I will have the cringingly video'd proof that I did it (I hate watching myself back in anything).
The worst part is getting up there to do it for that first time and now that's over for me, it's done and worryingly, I would love to do it again.

(And I want to take this opportunity, should anyone else who took part in the workshop get to read this, that the talent there was outstanding, everyone was amazing and even though that was quite intimidating at times, it was also very inspiring and amazing to see...they were ace people and I was honored to be there with them...and I'm sure I'll be seeing some of them on 'Live At The Apollo' very soon...or 'Crimewatch', depending on which way they want to take their wonderful brains....*wink*)

So that's it....hope you enjoyed my latest comedy ramble about how I managed to stand up on two leg's in front of others and say silly things.

I'm dragging my arse back to University next week, mainly because I have to...and after nearly a four month break, I WILL be literally dragging my arse back...
I'm telling you this for you to anticipate another 'gap' in the whole updatage front of this blog, but I'm sure you'll live....whereas, me on the other hand?...well, we'll see.
(I'm hoping I've give that pesky troll the slip at least....)

You Can't Teach An Old Dog New Tricks?

Well, my dear’s I beg to differ.
If the title seems a bit cryptic then (you’re probably a bit dumb) I’ll inform you that today’s blog entry is based on the whole idea of new vs. old comedy, along with the general ‘ageism’ (if any) in the world of ‘being funny.’

Now, I for one think most of today’s comedy has ‘lost its way’ my comedy age is probably a lot closer to my parents in that what I enjoy would probably be the same as a 40-50 year old.

I love the likes of the old sitcoms such as ‘Only Fools and Horses’, ‘Dad’s Army’, ‘Some Mother’s Do Ave’ Em’ (Ooooooh Betty! *in best Frank Spencer Impression*) and such and such...along with the old comedians such as Morecambe and Wise, The Two Ronnies’ and the even older kind such as the wonderful Laurel & Hardy & Buster Keaton (I’m a 1920’s/silent film/mindless slapstick fanatic anyway.)

Those wonderful ‘golden years’ of comedy when all the family could sit down and have a good giggle at the TV without worrying about a swear word or general crude remark coming out of it, making the entire family togetherness very awkward and sending Granny into a ‘not in my day’ rant.
And even if these ‘golden comedies/comedians’ did make a slightly risqué remark then society was much more ‘innocent’ anyway and it would usually go straight over people’s heads...and it was never overdone so it was to better effect, instead of using the ‘f’ word every other word like Gordon ‘effing’ Ramsay.

Then you have which I think was the best era for comedy (and for everything really, apart from Margaret Thatcher and leg warmers of course...no, not Margaret Thatcher IN Leg Warmers *shudders*)
the wonderful  1980’s. With the likes of Rik Mayall and Ade Edmundson gracing our screens and the birth of alternative comedy along with a whole new class of comedians taking over.  When stand up comedy really was an ‘art’ and you started right from the bottom. It was clever, it was new...and more importantly, it was FUNNY.

And it makes me sad to see that most 90’s comedy geniuses are now seen as ‘old hat’ or ‘dated’ too. The wonderful comedians that I grew up with and made my childhood cheerful, the people I was excited to see on my TV screen and who made me laugh until I needed an ambulance (that didn’t happen, it very nearly did at Vic & Bob once but I survived...just, but either way it would have been a wonderful way to go) – the absolutely wonderful comedy gods that are Vic Reeves & Bob Mortimer and the king of the sketch show (in my opinion anyway) Harry Enfield, along with his equally as talented and underrated partner in crime, Paul Whitehouse. These were another group of extremely clever and hilarious comedy pioneers who brought a new wave of surreal and new comedy to our screens. 

(I also have to mention the fact that the BBC told Harry Enfield that he and Paul Whitehouse were now ‘too old to be funny’ when they were pitching their new sketch show...so, what? Do you get to a certain age and then your funny bone drops out as well as your teeth? According to the BBC you do.....)

All of it was wonderful, clever, extremely well written, well acted, with the best comedians you could get for generations. They each brought new and exciting ideas and comedy characters to their own time and decade.

Whereas now, sadly, I think it’s extremely rare to find a ‘good’ comedy that I can really enjoy. I always say that after the year 2000, it all went down hill. Nothing was exciting anymore, not for me personally anyway. Ricky Gervais and Little Britain came along and I suppose that they tried to bring the same new ideas and new wave of comedy to our screens, but I don’t know, it just wasn’t the same for me. People who know me will know that I don’t find Gervais in the slightest bit funny. I’m not going to be personal because he’s a human being at the end of the day and I don’t know him personally, but in terms of comedy, no, I don’t think he’s a ‘legend’ or a ‘comedy hero’, I don’t even find him funny, I find him offensive and I think he goes about things in totally the wrong way. People could argue that he’s got that 80’s anarchic style, but again I disagree, the 80’s where hard times and alternative comedy mostly sprung from that, they were rebelling against something, whereas I think people like Gervias are just doing it for doing it sake, basically because in today’s society, you just can.

So using swear words and ‘blue’ material in comedy becomes less effective, it becomes offensive for the sake of it and crosses that line between making you laugh because it was funny to making you laugh because of the shock value or embarrassment, or just because someone said a ‘dirty’ word...*goes into patronising teacher mode* It’s not clever and it certainly isn’t funny.

Just to say, because I mentioned Little Britain earlier, I have to admit that I do like them, I’ve met them and they’re lovely guys but I lost interest in their show after Series 1 because sadly, after that, they too walked into the ‘shock value’ funny category rather than actually trying to clever.  (Seeing an old woman piss on the floor? Or throw up everywhere at the mention of someone of a different race? Funny?  Clever? I don’t think so.)

So yes, to cut a long rant short (Hallelujah! I hear you cry) I’m very much old headed when it comes to comedy, I hanker after the days of the 80’s and 90’s where comedy was exciting, clever and damn right hilarious.  I’m sad these days that I look forward to watching a new comedy show with high hopes only to be mostly disappointed and that I seem to be losing track in the stand up world because no one is standing out to me, so I stick with my ‘old uns.’

I long for that excited feeling of finding a new comedy that makes me laugh and makes me passionate about it again. Everyone knows that feeling of finding something new that makes you think ‘Yes! I want to do this, I want to be a part of this industry!’  Granted, there have been a few shows in recent years that have brought that feeling to the surface, but very few and far between.

So until things change and people get their shit act together, I’ll keep my 50 year old comedy head on and laugh along with Frank Spencer being hopelessly and slightly voo-dooishly (yes, it’s a word) unlucky, Oliver Hardy putting Stan Laurel through arduous torture and abuse and Michael Palin hitting John Cleese around the face with a 5ft fish. 

See what I mean? Clever...in it’s own special little way.

The Female of The Species (Is Funnier Than The Male?)

Well, no I don’t think so....

What’s that I hear you say? You’re not sticking up for your own female clan? You bad woman!

Well yes, I am a bad woman (especially on a weekend, but that’s not for here) and not to worry, I will explain why...

I did mention that I’d be doing a blog entry focusing on the world of women who go into comedy or ‘funny girls’ as it were, and here it is! I also mentioned that it might not be what you were expecting.

You’d think with my main goal wanting to enter into the world of comedy, that I’d be all for ‘funny girls’ but I’m not, I’m really not, because all in all, I personally don’t think women are funny. 

*Hears the sound of people falling to floor* - ‘Oh, please! Don’t be so dramatic, get up you twonks!’

I have my reasons...It’s rare that I’m a ‘fan’ of female comedians, all my comedy heroes and idols are men and that’s how I like it (and no, it’s not because I “fancy” them, god, you’re so childish!...well, maybe it is a little)

I have my exceptions though of course, those being Kathy Burke, Tamsin Greig and Victoria Wood (& I was also partial to Ellie Taylor on ITV1’s ‘Show Me The Funny’.)  And that, guys and gals is the lot, in generations of female comedians; those are the only ones that I consider funny...

I can’t really tell you why I don’t really find female comedians funny, I just don’t. Although, I have a few theories. The main one being that they play on the fact of being a woman; all their jokes are about woman’s problems...& I’m sorry but I don’t find your boyfriend dumping you and you eating a chocolate cake the size of a house very funny, and neither should you, love...
By doing that they’re already separating themselves and making themselves the minority, yes, tell us things about your life but don’t make it specifically about you being a women, that cuts you off with the audience straight away! 

I also find that most women ‘try’ too hard to be funny; they’re always trying to make up for the fact that they’re not a guy and it just ends up cringe worthy! That’s it! That’s the word; I have always found women in comedy to be cringe worthy. That’s just the way it is.

And I know it’s a really stupid view to have, I should be sticking up for funnier fairer sex and have rafts of funny female idols, but that’s just not the case.

I do admire them immensely for what they do, I think they’re really brave but I think most go about it in the wrong way, that’s what I don’t agree with...

It could also be that I’m not actually a fan of my own gender in general (I know, you don’t like were this is going, it’s ok, because neither do I...I’m not sure I know where it’s going to be honest)
I don’t like women, of course, I love my Mum and sister dearly and have a good few close female friends, but I have always got along better with men.
In my humble opinion, women are (for the most part) bitchy, cutting, ‘cliquey’ and cruel (steady on, madam!) and I have always had better experiences in friendships with men and of course, in this shallow world we live in, that can get people thinking the ‘wrong’ way about you, but everyone is entitled to their own choices in this world. I know quite a few women who think the exact same way as me (& no, they’re not in prison or transsexuals.)

Plus, most women (probably including some of my friends in this) don’t really ‘get’ me, because most of them aren’t into comedy so they probably just think I’m a bit ‘weird’ and that’s perfectly fine, I think you’re boring and have the sense of humour of a brick...c’est la vie...

And I realise that this may be offensive to some women out there, especially those who want to go into comedy (offending people wasn’t the intent of this blog, I know they may be hard to believe) but let me tell you something, you can’t shout at me...because dearest, I am also a women who wants to go in comedy...so I’m technically bashing myself (please, don’t take that wrong or this blog could go in a completely different direction, and none of us want that.)

And it’s ok because I don’t think I’m that funny, people just tell me that I am but I never really believe them and I’m so deluded by the ‘funny’ world that I just want to give it a shot anyway, despite how I’ll be perceived by people – and I never play the ‘woman’ card and haven’t done in the sets I’ve written, I play it neutral, granted there’s the odd thing in there that could only be said by a woman but I’ve tried to keep it as ‘general’ as possible. 

People don’t want to hear about my latest relationship/date disaster or my PMT and I personally don’t want to tell them... 

Or it could all just be down to the fact that I’m not really a woman and I’m actually a man called Steve who has been dressing up as a woman called ‘Sarah’ and has been fooling you all for years and all this has made me resent the female race...

(For those of you wondering, It isn’t that, I am just self bashing (oh ssh!))

Stand Up!? No! Sit Down!

Are you braver than a group of chickens doing the can-can through a fox’s den? If so, then you may be a stand up comedian.

As well documented by now, I love comedy (well, duh!) but when I was younger, I always dreamed of being in a sketch group or comedy troupe, I always thought (& still do) that it’d be a lot more fun, being with a group of like minded people who you hopefully got on with (no throwing tables/knives at each other and the like), making people laugh and hopefully, having a bit of a laugh yourself.

And that still is the dream for me really, but over the past year or two, in some weird, wonderful and probably mad and neurotic part of my brain, that wants me to die of humiliation and failure – has been urging me to explore the world of stand up comedy. 

I have always been in awe of the world of the stand up comedian, to be completely on your own, on stage, with a room full of glazed over, drunken, evil eyes (no, you wouldn’t be performing in hell, although it’d probably feel like it) staring at you, daring you to make them laugh, must take the more courage than a strawberry sprinting through a field of Donkeys (I know, strange comparison, get used to it). 

Then you have the successful comedian, the one that sells out arena’s and you know that all those lovely people have probably travelled miles and spent their hard earned money, just to see little ol’ you! I can’t comprehend how that must feel, I really can’t.

I’ve always wondered ‘how!?’ never why...because I know why, that compelling urge to make a room full of people laugh is a strong one I’ve felt my whole life and that’s enough to answer all my ‘whys?’ But I’m not sure I’ll ever get the hang of the ‘how?’

Maybe it’s that same urge? Either way, I’m bursting to give it a try (not literally, that’d be messy...and painful...) & I have actually got a routine or two written. But the sheer terror is enough to put me off ever trying them out. Sure, I’ve done a few workshops and courses but never actually done a proper gig.

But, the strange thing is, I know I’d get myself up there and I know I’d properly deliver my routine quite well, that’s fine...but what I can’t guarantee is anybody laughing...or me getting off that stage in one piece.

I suppose it doesn’t really help me being a woman, it’s hard enough to break into the world of stand up (or comedy in general for that matter) without being a member of the ‘fairer’ sex. Even in the mad, messed up, anything goes world of 2012, women in comedy is still something quite rare and even probably looked down on. (But I have another blog entry for that fine subject, for another time, although I think it’ll surprise you.)

So, add being a woman to equation and it makes things even harder, but I can’t help being the sex I was born...and I don’t fancy having any kind of ‘op’ to change it, unfortunately...even for my beloved world of comedy...so I’m guess I’m stuck with it.

The thing I’m most worried about is, not if it goes wrong, let’s face it, every comedian is going to have his (or her, don’t want to be called a hypocrite now, do I?) bad, bad gigs, it’s a part of it, I’m realistic on that, but the FIRST gig is probably the one you’d remember  the most and for me personally, if it went horribly, disastrously, me ending up in hospital/the police station wrong, then I’d probably never, ever want to grace the stand up word again...or the comedy world in general for that matter. Once bitten, twice shy is a saying that fit’s me all too well, and I couldn’t take that, I couldn’t take my dreams being dashed and my head being crushed (again, not literally, well, that is unless the audience really didn’t like my set...)

& I’ve got to admit, I doubt I’d be a natural stand up – I’m quite a different person in real life, from when I’m performing, and making my friends and family laugh is a lot different than making a room full of drunken strangers laugh, so I’d have to see my stand up side as a different character to me, still Sarah, but Stand Up Sarah, the braver, more confident, slightly bonkers version of me!

But on the other hand, I guess you’d learn from it whatever happened and if it went well, now there’s something for the ego! I wouldn’t be able to imagine the elation!  Talk about (pipe) dreams coming true!

But such is life, and there’s no guarantee’s in anything in this world (another thing I’ve learned all too well recently) and I’m quite (painfully) aware that the only way I’m ever going to find out is to get my bottom out there as it were and give it my best shot!

Consequently, me and a friend from University are going to a open mike night in Manchester next month. Now, whether or not I’ll actually be performing is a different matter, I might go along and see how ‘friendly’ the place is first and see what the other acts are like, so I’m more prepared, that would probably be the more sensible thing to do – but unfortunately, and probably not surprisingly, me and sensible have never really seen eye to eye, so who knows?  I could just get up there and get it over with! It’d be great if I did...and I guess only time will tell....

And, I don’t know about you dear reader, but I personally can’t wait to see the blog entry after that!

Funny = Sexy? Oh God, Yes!

Now, we all know that on most people’s lists (& those personal ad things that we all have a private giggle it, come on, you know you’ve done it) of what they’re looking for in a potential ball & chain...err, I mean relationship, is the good ol’ GSOH (Good Sense of Humour.) But with most women it is usually just a case of not seeming shallow.
It reminds me of a joke of Jasper Carrott’s – he mentioned the same thing, that most women were just looking for someone with a GSOH and he stated that even though they say this, if he and Brad Pitt were to walk into a bar, that most women would then throw that out of the window and head on over to Mr. Pitt’s direction! Naturally.

But then, there’s women like me, who genuinely do mean it and wouldn’t touch Mr. Smarmy over there with a ten foot wooden leg (I can’t stand Brad Pitt!) and would much rather spend the evening chatting to the lovely Mr. Carrott who was another one of those hilarious, lovely men that I always used to look forward to watching when I was a kid.

99.9% of my "celeb crushes" have been on comedians, in fact, my very first celeb crush was Bob Mortimer when I was just 6 or 7 years old and I still adore the lovely little munch kin’ – the “hots” for his partner in crime, Mr. Vic Reeves also sprung on me surprisingly a few years back too, after years of watching him and finding him gut bustingly funny, it suddenly hit me that I really wouldn’t mind him in my bed either....Big Night Out did it, he is genuinely beautiful there. Give me a time machine and send me back to 1991 and I swear to god, he’d be mine.

..................Oh sorry, daydreaming there for a minute...where was I? Oh yeah, funny men...what is it about them that I find so attractive? I couldn’t tell you to be honest, all I know is that I find them irresistible.  But don’t get me wrong, I still have standards, some random hobo coming up to me and making me giggle wouldn’t make me want to marry him. But I wouldn't go much lower than that to be honest.

I think it may be because I have such admiration for comedians that naturally I would find them attractive. Maybe it’s the charisma of being able to wow and amuse an audience, maybe it’s the cuteness of someone a bit ‘wacky’ or ‘quirky’, maybe it’s the thrill of that hidden, dark nature that many comedians seem to have.

Whatever it is...funny to me is just IT when looking for a guy, but I have to admit, it hasn’t led to the most successful relationships for me. Mainly due to that ‘dark’ side I mentioned, maybe it’s because I’ve got those characteristics as well and we clash...either way, it has got me into a lot of trouble in the past, yearning and wanting the ‘funny guy’ – it’s never turned out too well. It has also lead to me falling for the wrong person on many occasion, boy, hasn’t it...but I can’t stop it, it’s like a natural reaction for me & the connection I feel to those types of people is always worth it, I wouldn’t want anything less. 

And my family and friends have always found this amusing; I’ve had it all ‘Funny whore - laugh hag....’ 

You’d think all this complicated heart break and teasing would put me off the world of men who can laugh me into bed, but no...(I’m quite dumb and blind where all that kissy kissy, smooch woochy stuff is concerned anyway, you see) and I still stand by the fact that I probably will end up marrying a comedian one day.....

But I will draw the line at clown suit bondage on our wedding night.......

Welcome (& Other Trolls)

Hi there, first off I should probably say welcome to my blog and wonder why the hell you're even here reading it, but the fact that you are is very sweet, thank you.
You probably know by now (and if you don't, you're definitely about to find out) that my main love in life has been comedy and probably always will be comedy, I have took a few turns down different roads over the year's (& most of those have had some kind of troll at the end) but I've always ended up coming back to comedy (granted, the comedy road has a few trolls down it too, but at least they're funny.)

It is something that has kept me going throughout my life and has been a source of emotional support for aslong as I can remember, maybe even more than friends and family, not to be critical of them, I love them dearly, but maybe something inside me thought that seeing Oliver Hardy beat Stan Laurel senseless with various household impliments or Vic & Bob beat each other's brains out with frying pans would comfort me more than talking and 'opening up' about my problems. Which probably says more about me than my poor friends and family.

As mentioned, I've been someone who has had many varied interests over the years. I've always loved animals and when I was younger I thought that my life must have involved having my arm up the backside of a cow in someway when I grew up and I was suprisingly fine with this, for a long time. The whole comedy or 'showbusiness' world was just an escape for me, I could never be a comedian or an actor, it seemed dramlike, unrealistic and it stayed that way for a long time.

Throughout my childhood and early teens, I loved making my friends and family laugh, especially my older sister. Pulling my nightie over my head and sticking my glasses over the top and running around like a maniac and doing impressions of the various comedians I'd grown up with until I hurt my voice and severely damaged my tonsils where all the wonderful, halarious things that I subjected my family and friends to, ok, so it wasn't Morecambe & Wise material at any rate, but it made people laugh and that's all I cared about.

Then High School came along and ruined it. Don't get me wrong, I was happy at High School for the most part. I just didn't matter, me and my group of friends were the classic 'Inbetweeners', not outcasts but not 'cool' enough to be popular either. I spent five years being invisible, which isn't as fun as you may think. Plus, a lot of personal troubles throughout my teen years dogged my once silly, hyped up frothing loon personality from my childhood and continued throughout the rest of teens and early 20's. I'm not ashamed to admit that since then I have battled with depression and anxiety, but not to worry, things are much better now and I won't bore you with the details. But all this did take a profound effect on my personality, my confidence and my self esteem.
But despite all this I managed leave school with fairly decent GCSE's, go to college, study a diploma in Animal Management and start Veterinary Nursing Training.
It was all sort of a blur really and that little voice inside me prodded me harshly in my gut on a regular basis, telling me that despite my love of animals, this really wasn't my life's 'purpose' or what I should be or wanted to be doing...

And it took a good few years (and not nearly as many cow's backsides) for me to finally listen to that little voice and give up on the world of Dr. Dolittle, by this time I'd realised just how cold, upsetting and cruel the animal care industry was. People are horrible, animals aren't, that was the main conclusion I left with and one I still stick with today. You can't help them all and it was making me damn right miserable. My sheer love of the animal kingdom was the very main reason why I SHOULDN'T have made it my career.

So after this, came a few years of dead end jobs, one of which involved stood behind tables for 8 hours a day trying to 'demonstrate' and sell products to people who I would have happily jabbed something sharp and rusty up their noses at not a second thought and quite a bleak exsistance which didn't involve much at all really, a nun would have more of a life. I became more miserable and in 2009, hit a bit of a melt down point, which I thankfully pulled myself out of the year later (with the thanks mainly being down to comedy once again.)
And then I realised, what had I always loved? What had got me through those horrible days? What had cheered me up when I got home from work where I'd seen some poor Cat get put to sleep because his so called owner hadn't taken care of him? What had cheered me up when yet another friend or boyfriend had let me down or hurt me? What got me through when I thought I had nothing left to live for? Comedy.

So in that moment, I thought, I've used humour and comedy to escape and cover up everything wrong in my life from the very beginning. Why not do that now? And the closest thing I could think to do was to go to University and study Theatre and Performance. And that I did.
It was like going from nought to sixty in 10 seconds but it was the right decision for me, as I loved acting and theatre too.
It was a very shaky start and it took me awhile to find my feet. All those hard year's had battered my confidence and on a drama course, that isn't going to help you....in the slightest! But I knew I was stronger than an Ox, I knew who the 'real' me was and I knew she'd come out eventually...and slowly but surely, she did do and is continuing to. Through all the hurt's and upset's I've become a very untrusting person and people now have to work very hard to get through those barriers and get through to that wacky, funny, comedy obsessed, silly nut job that's been inside me since birth, but I'd like to think that's worth it.

And this is all fantastic and right at this moment, I'm in the best place I've been for awhile. I'm happy, I'm definitely me again, maybe even a bit better and I know it can only get better from here. I'm finding things out about myself that I never knew exsisted and it's great!
There's just one thing...I wasn't true to my poor comedy. All my performances in the first year, were serious (well, meant to have been, if they were funny, they probably shouldn't have been) and now I've finished my first year, I realised - 'You didn't do any comedy, you nutbasket! That was the whole reason for doing it!' Yes, I got swept down the 'theatre' road (yes, trolls down that one too, sophiscated ones) and forgot all about my original goals and desires.
Which is my only downfall, but there's always next year...and the third year...if I stick at it, which I'm sure I will.

Errrrr...I've actually forgotten where I'm going with this now, but you get the idea, don't you? You've learned a bit about me, you've learned I have some kind of weird comedy fixation and you've learned that I'm probably not very mentally stable...or trusting...or normal...but you know what I say to that?

Perfect comedian material.

(Just so you know, the rest of the posts won't be like this, or detailing my life story, they will be about comedy and my own personal views on said comedy - Hope to see you again. Watch out for the troll on your way out. He doesn't bite, but if looks could kill...)