If The Laughter Ain’t Broke, Please Don’t Fix it!

I’m back again! Two entries so close together (oooerr), with my comedy babbles, I’m really spoiling you…or torturing, depends on your angle.

I feel I should take a bit more of a serious tone with this ere’ bloooog entry, because it’s something that’s really nutted me off!

Can I just say….?

ALL THESE BLOODY REMAKES!!!!!

Classic comedies, ‘Are You Being Served?’, ‘Keeping Up Appearances’, ‘Till Death Us Do Part’, ‘Porridge’, ‘Steptoe and Son’…and that’s just to name a few, don’t tamper with the classics or anything? Dear god.

I mean, what exactly are they trying to achieve? This is just opinion, but to me, it’s just a lazy attempt at filling up their autumn schedule and passing it off as ‘tribute’ or ‘nostalgia’, well,  it ain’t, it’s just plain lazy!!

These comedies are so well loved and are ‘classics’ for a reason, you can’t just throw a bunch of new actors together and expect it to work! A lot of them are ‘of their time’ and the jokes simply just wouldn’t work now, especially without the original talent to go with it. I am expecting major ‘cringe value’ and not much else.

And to prove my point entirely…The only reason ‘Allo’ Allo’’ has escaped this tragedy is because they are scared that the Nazi officers are going to ‘offend’ people…jesus Christ on a bike with bells on, honestly! That just takes the biscuits with raisins on top!!! Classics like that wouldn’t get past the first stage of production now, because everyone is so f**king offended all the time! Get a grip! It’s 2016 and no one can say or do a fecking thing anymore!!! It’s infuriating…no one can just get on with anything anymore without being offended or being worried about offending others!

Well, now I’m offended…by the sheer patheticness (yes, that is a word) of it all.

And yes, I am aware that some have got a good cast lined up or they’ve got ‘lost’ original scripts…but please, if that’s the case, just PUBLISH THE SCRIPTS and then the rest can be left up to the imagination, whilst still appreciating the jokes and the clever writing…don’t bloody drive a tank all over it and ruin it forever….some things are better off ‘lost’ in my opinion (like, your marbles for example.)

Take an iconic character like Victor Meldrew, for instance( the hugest bestest of wishes to Richard Wilson by the way, after suffering a heart attack, get well soon fella, we don’t want to lose any more to the great big comedy god in the sky.) If David Renwick wrote an episode of One Foot In The Grave and got someone else to play Victor…would it be the same? Even though it’s the same writer? Of course it wouldn’t…wrong casting and it bombs anyway, just like a good performer won’t make bad writing any better, they have to complement each other and I’m afraid, that can happen only once in a blue moon…and it certainly won’t happen by people trying to be something they’re not.

All this PC stuff now, is not going to make it any better…it just won’t….see the Allo’ Allo’ example for a start. People have always been offended by Germans, what makes now any different?
And I’m sure if the Carry On films were done now, Sid James (or the so called equivalent) would be arrested for sexual assault 10 minutes into the film. End of Film.

The only one I’m kind of willing to give a shot is the Porridge remake, because Kevin Bishop is going to be playing Fletcher’s grandson, so it’s more of a sequel that way, rather than him actually playing Fletcher…which is okay for me, it’s bearable, it’s more of a tribute that way in my eyes. That’s how I felt with ‘Still Open All Hours’ , it felt like it was just catching up with Granville and it still (surprisingly) had a lot of the original cast around. So that was a nice tribute as well, it wasn’t other people trying to be them, it was just like catching up with old friends…and that’s okay.

But I’m afraid all what’s coming up, isn’t okay, not for a huge, raving comedy geek like me, in fact, its three buses, a taxi ride and a 10 mile walk from ‘okay.’

However, one of my many brain squeezingly annoying traits is that, I always have to give something the benefit of the doubt, especially where comedy is concerned, even though I know that deep in my black hole of a gut, that it’s all going to be groin grabbingly excruciating for me to witness (I’m actually worried I may need a new TV in case it ‘accidently’ fires itself through my bedroom window), that I’m going to watch it all anyway, just to see, just to see if there’s any slight hope of any of it being good. I want to be proven wrong, that’s thing, and I just know I won’t, but we’ll see.

I still want to give the new Dad’s Army film a go, even though I have it on good authority from someone who is just as much of a sad comedy noob as me, that it’s a huge steaming  pile of shite…I still have to torture myself and eventually witness it for myself one day soon. But that’s a whole other annoyance for another day….

It’s actually surprising how manically angry all this has made me, you’d think I’d have more to worry about (and oooooh, believe me, I do…life is just…. wrong at the moment…*waves arms* all of this, it’s all gone bad now…all of *this*) but it really does…comedy means a lot of me (well, crush a grape, I bet you’d have never have guessed!) and a lot of these comedies are what caused me to be the way I am…(so you could say they have a lot to answer for anyway) and they’re very much loved and dear to me, like old friends….and I don’t want my friends to be strung up and kicked in the bollocks, because that’s how it feels…

There must be loads of new young comedy writers out there itching to get their ideas seen and developed *cough*me*cough*. No really, I have had an idea for a comedy series for a good number of years now and I’ve been told it’s a very good and a very feasible idea…but I also know myself and the chances of me actually getting it refined and written and ‘ready’ is anyone’s fecking guess…but there must be more people out there, like me (who aren’t lazy bastards) who has a good idea and are willing to do the work to get it out to the public…but no, obviously not.

And so, we have to put up with his oncoming comedy car crash instead…well, whoopee shit! I’m preparing myself, that’s all I’m saying…and if I’m like this now, imagine what I’m going to be like afterwards, after it’s all been witnessed? It’s just going to be a page of expletives and not much else….(what’s new?)

R.I.P Good old fashioned comedy…where germans didn’t offend people…. quite as much….

Dr. Comedy Will See You Now!

Oh my gawwwd, look at the state of this place...soooo many skeletons...so many lives wasted...*shrugs* oh well...

Hello dear readers, that is, if there is any of you left (AND if there was any of you to begin with!)
My, it’s been a while...all this used to be fields the last time I was here...oh wait, no, that’s something else entirely...where I live actually (No, I don’t live in a field, contrary to popular belief, not anymore anyway, that is my past and it shall stay there, alright?)

Anyway, I digress (as always), yes, it’s been a while. I have not updated this ere’ bloggery since the dear f**king  Rik Mayall died last year. Maybe it’s kind of poignant that I took a break after such a loss to the comedy world, (I can already hear him in my head calling me a lazy bastard for using him as the excuse!)
However, I feel that now is a good a time as any to update, because, something really wonderful has happened lately (no, no, not that...sadly) – my love for comedy has kind of been reinforced if you will, these past few years have been quite dramatic and far from funny (well, unless you’ve been a distant observer with a grudge...or life itself, that always likes a good giggle at me) and a lot of my well ‘ground in’ (is that a technical term?) beliefs in things and various ‘stuff’ has been tested to its limit, some have fell by the wayside in a suitably, cheesy 70’s drama, dramatic death form and some have hid in the bushes and waited...like the very suspect bloke from down the street, who you try to avoid...
And comedy, my dear friends, has been the bloke in the bushes….. he hid away in the background until I was ready to dance with him in the moonlight again (getting my metaphors a bit mixed up here).

You see, without going too morbid on your arses (as much as I like being on all your arses...or ‘asses’ if you’re American), since I last updated, my mum passed away and it was quite sudden and very much unexpected... *awkward silence* It was a huge shock to me and my family, long story short, she had been ill for a while but she was obviously much worse than we all thought, we never dreamed of losing her, put it that way, as you never do, losing your Mum, who was also your best friend and fellow comedy aficionado at 27 years of age never even crossed my mind, until a chest infection suddenly turned into Pneumonia and took her within two weeks. I also have to add that I lost my cat, Basil, (also very suddenly, from a heart attack) in February this year...so yeah, my life hasn’t exactly been a barrel of laughs since the last time we communicated. I haven’t exactly been in the ‘funny’ kind of mood....well, I’ve been in some ‘funny’ moods...but not funny ‘ha-ha’, more ‘funny neurotic who wants to chuck herself off a high precipice’) But I did say I wasn’t going to go morbid on you...and I lied...obviously...I do apologise...but you know… my mother…my cat child...just saying...

But recently, without getting ahead of myself (because we can’t be too positive, that would be nuts), I feel like I’ve been in a healing process.
Well, the start line of one anyway...there are certain comedies that my Mum introduced me to and that we always watched together, without fail...Father Ted, Morecambe and Wise, Count Arthur Strong, just to name a very small few.
But there is a certain one that we both loved very dearly...it was ‘our’ comedy, if you will. This would be the wonderfully written, brilliantly funny and wickedly dark ‘One Foot In The Grave.’
Now, I haven’t been able to watch this until recently, for obvious reasons, but a week or two ago, I was brave, got out my box set and started from the beginning and I swear to god, it’s been like god damn fecking counselling! With Victor Meldrew as my therapist (imagine that, if you will.)

So many reasons as to why, not just because it was mine and my Mum’s ‘thing’ and it brings back some great (although sometimes, gut grabbingly painful, with nails dug in for good measure) memories. But because of the wonderful writing and acting in general. It’s full of amazing, clever and Philosophical monologues on life, that are delivered beautifully by the actors (particularly the lovely Annette Crosbie) that just make you go from laughing your hair off one minute, to pain-stakingly thinking about the meaning of it all the next...and more importantly, agreeing with it all! It kind of makes you realise that we are all in the same boat, no matter how bad or good things seem to be, we’re all on the same road and we’re just trying to make it through this weird scum bucket of life...or sun bucket if you’re one of the lucky few.
I found myself agreeing with Victor so much more than I did when I was younger and watching it for the first time, I remember always feeling sorry for Margaret, having to put up with Victor’s ramblings all the time, but now, I fully and wholeheartedly agree with the sad, moaning old sod...!!! And if that means that I am now a sad moaning old sod myself...then so be it (secretly cries into my Holicks...not really,  I hate the stuff...but any ‘old sod drink’ that you can think of).
He has it all ‘right’...he’s a happy person, or wants to be...and he’s a good man, but the people around him are incompetent idiots...and he’s obviously too intelligent to be able to just lie down and take it (oooeerr)! So he fights back and gets frustrated...like any normal, human, intelligent being would do, the way I see it, you’re either an idiot or you’re the moaning old sod...take your pick, but I know what side I’m on (don’t say I’m an idiot, because I’m not, honest.)

What gets me the most about this though, is the fact that the people who matter to him most, for example, Margaret...or even the fabulous Mrs Warboys (I still can’t hear ‘Wild Boys’ by Duran Duran, without thinking of her, ever since my Dad announced one time, that it sounded like they were chanting ‘Warboys’ instead of Wild Boys.) they love Victor and put up with him for exactly who he is, because although they probably get frustrated with him, deep down, they know he’s right, and more importantly, they love and care for him, so therefore, they accept him and his ways… and that’s how you know who really cares for you.  I believe that you can be the most annoying, soul crushing, ‘want to smash your repeatedly head through a television screen’ kind of person...in fact, you can be anything (even the bloke in the bushes) and the people who matter the most to you, or care for you the most, will always love you...for you...and that’s how you sort the men from the boys (and the blokes from the bushes.)

Without sounding pretentious, I’ve been on a journey through watching through this wonderful series again, a journey that has been strangely cathartic and healing, I’ve been laughing one minute, deep thinking life itself the next minute and then in bits on the floor, bawling my eyes into my carpet the next...(I’m actually being serious there, for once.) It has been immensely healing, so healing...more healing than a healer on a healing carpet, on top of a healing mountain... (or precipice, if you want to see a posh word again.) It’s astounded me, to be honest....what I’ve gained from it...as stupid as I may sound..more stupid than usual. (Did I mention it was healing?)

My point being is (yes, finally), I have gained more healing surrounding my grief, family and general mortality issues from re-watching one series of a very beautifully written and acted comedy, than I have from any counsellor, therapist, doctor, pill or alcohol based beverage...
That is what has cemented comedy well and truly back into my cold, black, frosty, clown like heart.

And that my loves, Is what I think is so f**king wonderful about it...
(pardon my French...why do we say that, by the way? why is it French? Do all French people swear all the time? Is that what their language really is, secret swearing?)

I always will and always have thought that, hence my un-natural interest and love of it all.
That is what is so wonderful about comedy to me and the healing power of laughing in general...or making someone else laugh, it’s all an act of healing, no matter what you believe (it would explain why a lot of comedians used to be doctors...Graham Chapman, Harry Hill, think about it?)
 I really should have remembered that from the time in 2009, when Laurel and Hardy single handlely...or double handedly I should say, got me through a horrible time of bad health problems and anxiety...watching them, I mean...they weren’t nursing me or anything...although that would be been ace...apart from the whole thing of them being dead and all’.

Anyway, babbling aside and point being made...(I said, finally) I sincerely hope that I keep that in mind this time, the healing power of comedy and laughter can be extremely powerful,  no matter what life throws at me, I think I have endured some of the worst now anyway (*waits for world to collapse around me*)...and I hope it never has to go hiding away in the bushes ever again.  :)